Publish date: May 1, 2008

Tailgaters, beware — the new SUPERBUMPER claims to kill all offending drivers on contact. Sound too good to be true? Well, it is. SUPERBUMPER’s flashy ad campaign may grab consumers’ attention, but the marketing geniuses behind the hype are sure its protective qualities will cause them to open their wallets. The versatile product is really a trailer hitch, but its shock-absorbing properties transform it into a must-have safety accessory for families on the go.

SUPERBUMPER is guaranteed to protect both drivers and passengers from whiplash during rear-end collisions, and protect a vehicle from “bumper taps” during awkward parallel parking experiences. Sure, the SUPERBUMPER won’t live up to its claims of “killing” the drivers who offend you, but fending off damage from distracted drivers and texting teens isn’t a bad second.